Joe Maddon Releases Live Cougar Into Cubs Clubhouse for “Team-Building” Exercise

Cubs skipper, Joe Maddon, is known for his unorthodox methods on and off the field of play. Whether it be bringing in a petting zoo during practice, or employing a five-man infield, he certainly has a unique way of approaching daily life at the clubhouse. His latest experiment reaffirms the reputation he’s gained.

Cubs players report that Madden released a live cougar into the Cubs clubhouse, Tuesday morning. Manager Maddon confirmed the reports, explaining that this exercise was both strategic on and off the field.

“First of all, who doesn’t like an old-fashioned team-building exercise?” explained the Cubs’ skipper. “As everyone knows, a ballclub that sticks together doesn’t get mauled and their entrails devoured by a dangerous predator.” Maddon also went on to explain that “our corner outfielders have a slightly better OPS against same-handed pitchers on days I release a live predator into the clubhouse. You can’t argue with the numbers.”

How Maddon acquired and transported the cougar to Wrigley Field has yet to be determined. Anthony Rizzo was said to have perished during the exercise.

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