Texas Unveils New State Flag Honoring Daddies Of The State

A historical moment occurred on Monday morning, as Texas governor Greg Abbott unveiled a new flag for the state of Texas.

The new flag comes after the San Diego Padres (a.k.a the Slam Diego Padres) completed back-to-back sweeps of both Texas-based MLB teams: the Texas Rangers, and the Houston Astros. On top of said achievement, the Padres also hit a historical five grand slams in those 7 games.

“As you can see, our new state flag honors those that we consider to be our state daddies. The one particular key detail of the new flag is the face of Fernando Tatis Jr. on the spot where the star used to be in our previous flag. That is because there is truly no bigger star than Fernando Tatis Jr”, explained governor Abbott in a press conference.

The new state flag includes the faces of Padres players Fernando Tatis Jr., Wil Myers, Manny Machado, Eric Hosmer, and Jake Cronenworth. All of the players who hit grand slams in the Padres’ 7-game sweep of the Texas-based MLB teams.

When asked about the inclusion of the faces in the flag, governor Abbott responded, “The faces in our new flag may not be the faces of our fathers, but they are the faces of our daddies.”

Governor Abbott ended the press conference by saying, “We have a saying, here in Texas: Everything is bigger in Texas. Well, we’ve come to learn that there is truly nothing bigger than sweeping all the MLB teams in our state while hitting 5 grand slams, which are the biggest of home runs.”

Retired MLB player, David Freese, was overheard in the press conference muttering “What the hell do I have to do to get the recognition I deserve?”

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