Free Agents To Create Own League With Blackjack and Hookers

As the baseball season moves to its second week, a number of high-profile free agents are still without a job for the season. Notable among them are pitchers Dallas Keuchel and Craig Kimbrel. Tension between the free agents and teams continuously rose as the “will they, won’t they sign” drama continued on.

However, a surprising announcement during a surprise press conference has shown that the free agents have decided to take an alternative route.

“My fellow free agents and I have made a decision,” said Bender Bending Rodriguez, an unsigned free agent shortstop that shocked the world with his Dominican Winter League performance. “We have decided to create a league of our own.”

The decision came after the current free agent players decided that the state of the free agent market was simply too poor and not worth continuing on. “The league will be better in every way,” continued free agent spokesperson Rodriguez. “It is a league of our own, but with blackjack and hookers.”

The announcement has come as a surprise to many of baseball’s top brass and analysts. Many question the feasibility of creating a brand new league and also question the logistical implications of implemented blackjack and hookers.

“Those details are yet to come, but we do have a name for our new league, and it is call the ‘Majorly More Cooler Baseball League’. We will not be taking any questions as we have a lot of planning to do,” said spokesperson Rodriguez, concluding the press conference.

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